Getting a whiff of the rat race....

I had never really given a damn about competition. Term me arrogant or term me stupid,it never bothered me enough to even think about it. But it kinda looms like a fact of life u see....its something like, you love it or hate it but you cannot ignore it. I needed my own sweet time to realize that :P Now that I do,its like I am just trying to get my dues.Trying to get what belongs to me.So I am finally in the rat race:) Look around,nearly everything is a rat race.Whether you want it or not,you are a rat running behind that small piece of cheese in front of you which is being hunted by some hundred other rats around you. At least this is how I see the situation I am in. Whether its a traffic jam on your way or its a stampede or a tug of war,it all boils down to one of the million sub classes of the super class rat race.

All we rats are performing our daily ritual.We gather around same old placement office.... where thousands of rats got their respective chunks of cheese and scampered away to their holes for nearly a decade....and then we surrender ourselves to the mystic sounds and movies playing in front of us....a well planned drama rehearsed over and over again in front of rats in some other corner of the city....then we twitch our snouts when they display the size of the cheese chunk in numbers.Then we allow ourselves to be lead to the acid tests where we are held by our tails n dipped in acid which is not even of the same ph level for everyone.For some rats the ph maybe 6.999999 but for some rats it maybe 0.00000001 :P :D so like this all of us enjoy the acid bath and hardly we gets to shake off the acids from our bodies when we are divided into the "eligible" and ''not eligible"....my foot!!! oh sorry....my paw!! :P so the eligible rats dance around for a while and then wait for another round of acid testing and the not eligible rats scamper off hungry to their holes :D this is the ritual. Well I have been in both the situations and I have been hungry and full at times. Yet I am back in ritual because I am unhappy with d quality of cheese that i got:) size honestly does not matter but quality does....I don't want to end up with a revolting stomach you see :D

So I continue watching at the stereotypical web sites with models posing for software professionals, grinning broadly as if they get a 7 digit pay per year ,looking at the corny missions,goals and objectives, and each time I see this well crafted advertisement the only thing that strikes me is the urge to tap on their shoulders and say...Whom are you kidding buddy?:D well its not that they shouldn't advertise them selves but there is a way to do it. There are sensible ways of wooing the sensible folks whom they are so in need of and displaying models is perhaps not quite a sensible way of doing it:) then coming to the point of acid testing and their varying ph levels....they are more of bouncers than issues that can be understood logically.

Considering the fact that such thoughts should occur to me,I get a hint that I might not be a rat after all.Still...while in Rome do as the Romans do.....and I don't think that I am one yet:P:)

Zombie....

Everyday you find some people lifeless and depressed around you.You try your best to make them smile...sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.Here is one about a life just not worth a second glance.

The dead man walks again wearing a mask of life
The mask his only identity,his face to the people.
The mask that sports a smile and a grin so rife,
that people don't bother to see those eyes dark as the night,
those eyes that the mask fails to hide.
Deep in chest buried under his desires
lies his heart ,still pumping blood,though sold to the vile.
Blighted mind of his enslaves his heart
Crippling his emotions,blackening his soul
obsessed with the spotlight and his search for gold.

When I see your eyes,I see death at its best
I see that face behind that mask distorted in your quest.
Bereft of emotions,its pale and blank
Its then that I remember that I had once found it frank.
I had tried to set your heart free
Tried to bring the dead man to life,
but your heart remained six feet under
your soul waiting for the devil in surrender.
Pity is all that you will get from me
As I watch you smile that plastic smile,O Zombie.

Fearing fear....

Dreams are the ultimate means of self discovery.Dream anytime of the day or night you will find them reflecting your deepest thoughts and emotions telling you a story about yourself which perhaps you would never even have imagined in a brainstorming session with yourself.The following paragraphs have been inspired by one of my dreams.Its not my complete dream but I found it to be quite a revelation.Its about my perception of fear....

It was quite a handful... like a small baby, hissing softly as though crooning in an almost caring way.It lacked the sharp teeth,just jaws,strong ones.In its greenish face,rough yet delicate ,behind its small stubby snout,hidden deep within its sockets swam two green eyes glistening and moist.He held the velociraptor like a small baby in his arms,egging me on to do the same.Though captured by its seemingly innocent features,I dare not touch it lest should it turn violent.He then cramped the raptor in a small cage and took me to another one quite far from the first.
There,he unleashed an older raptor,impish and active.Though aggressive and violent it did nothing more than stand at a distance from from me and snarl at me showing its pointy teeth.I moved on as he pushed the raptor in its crampy cage.
I now faced a raptor as tall as me. The snarling raptor advanced towards me.Ambushed by the beast I backed off towards the wall behind.Sweating profusely I closed my eyes surrendering myself to anything that was bound to happen.
As I closed my eyes,flashing before me, I saw my fear crystallize into the raptor and grow in size as I grew older.When I opened my eyes shocked by what I had seen,I saw a familiar face in the eyes of the beast.It froze in its tracks.Perhaps it finally recognized me as well.It smelled my foot and at once realized that it was indeed a part of me.It was my fear and my fear knew that its master had recognized it.It could no longer threaten me nor hurt me showing its pointy teeth.With the recognition came my realization and as it came it brought a smile along:)
As I smiled,I saw fear fill up in the eyes of my crystallized fear,my raptor.The raptor started shrinking under my smile.Its eyes filled up with fear and mine filled up with tears of happiness.I continued to smile and then started to laugh as I watched fear eat up the beast of fear.It shrunk to a state that I could no longer see.I knew that it was my smile which came with my realization that had shrunk my fear and so I am keeping it all my life....forever:)

Who am I?

I suppose its necessary for me to say a couple of words about myself else its easy for people to be carried away by the name of my blog:) I do not claim to be Enigma simply because I have named my blog so.I am a person who knows myself the best and I am anything but Enigma to the people who know me.I am in fact an open book.... there is a catch though.....you should be able to read me.Enigma is in fact a name given to me by some people simply because of the fact that they do not understand me.I stuck on to this name while choosing the name for my blog because I am not Enigma.As it has been with me all the time,I have been quite attracted to things which are unlike me.I am fascinated by things which I don't find in myself.Opposites attract and this is gospel truth at least in my case.But just on this basis if you think that i do not associate myself with like minded people then I assure you that you are no where near knowing what I am in real.In case you know me and you agree to the fact that the name Enigma suits me,think twice:)

Mystique....

The mistress of mystique eludes those who seek her....
for she likes to be sought after....
she haunts the crystal minded and sucks them into enigma,her realm...
she is the ultimate conquerer....the answer to all questions and the question to answers that don't exist.Behind the veil,her beauty lies....unseen by the human eyes....
never to be seen she hides...deep within a woman's eyes....